It’s horrible to say but I miss a lot of things that I was free to do before I was Muslim. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy my Muslim thing, but I’d be a damned liar if I didn’t admit that I miss bacon.
Specifically Johnsonville Maple Bacon. Swear to God, the smell will permeate the entire house. Its that classic “wake-up-to-the-smell-of-breakfast” kinda smell.
Here are a few things miss from more heathenish days…
1. Jiffy Cornbread - I never knew there was any other way to make cornbread until I was freakin’ 15. Its the tastiest stuff on the planet, which I know is true because it is made with lard. Yes, the dreaded L-word. When one of my friends told me, I had to go home and verify for myself. It is rumored that I purposefully spent a couple of days in ignorance so that I could consume more cornbread. But that is just a rumor. You shouldn’t listen to gossip.
2. Vodka and Cranberry - Many think that alcohol is a gift from the gods, but my favorite drink was a present from my friend Liz. At least the best one I’ve ever had. I don’t remember where I heard of the drink, just that out of nowhere out at dinner I ordered one. It’s been Real Love ever since. Just so you know, Liz made V&C with a slice of lime. Very nice touch.
3. Most Mexican Food - Kansas City (where I went to college) has a pretty decent Mexican population. So much so that I was quickly turned on to Mexican food. There was a place a half block from my apartment that was totally awesome. There was the Texano burrito (pronounced TEX-ah-no because I suck in Spanish) made of steak, potatoes, cheese and sour cream (AWESOME!). Anyway, though I had explicitly asked if they fried in lard and was told NO, I was given the word that it was so not true. Turns out its hard to have pork-free Mexican.
4. Margaritas - they are Margaritas. What else can I say? Jose Cuervo Classico Tequila with a generic margarita mix, while sitting in the sun eating nachos. I miss those days.
5. Whory Clothes - I’m fat so I could never wear these clothes and be comfortable anyway, but at least when I’m having my thin dreams you could see my awesome perfect thin body. No more Pussycat Doll type clothing in my fantasies. Now I’m strictly on that Italian Vogue/New York CIty level of clothing love, which is extra odd since I consistently wear t-shirts and jeans.
Runner Up:
1. Drugs - I don’t even do drugs, but now when I make it in Hollywood I won’t be able to hang with all the cool kids.
or want. Of course I am still updating and I will never forget to add my blog friends sites to my sidebar.
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